Anne Hamilton/Hamilton Dramaturgy


Choosing to Say Goodbye

From time to time I write an article for Open to Hope, an organization which helps people to find hope after the loss of a loved one. This week, I wrote, “Choosing to Say Goodbye” about the loss of my friend Curtis. I modeled the character Jonathan in THE STACY PLAY – A LOVE SONG – VOLUME I after him. Last month’s staged reading allowed me to hear the play in its entirety, and helped my healing process along as well. As my play continues to live and my heart continues to heal through writing and directing, I can only hope that I will continue to expand and express my own journey.

You may download the article here:  Anne Hamilton Choosing to Say Goodbye Article for Open to Hope

Choosing to Say Goodbye

by Anne Hamilton (c) June 24, 2012

There’s a time when you have to say goodbye, and a time when you choose to say goodbye.

For the first time, I chose to say goodbye to my friend Curtis today.

I had to say goodbye when he was ripped away from me in a car accident thirty years ago. And all this time I’ve been resenting that accident.

But recently the song, “Freebird”* by Lynryd Skynyrd has kept echoing in my head. If I heard it on the radio, I would listen for its entirety. I would pull off the road to listen to it. I couldn’t get that song out of my mind.

I had heard it at so many high school dances in the 70’s. It was a classic.

Today I wanted to hear that song. I listened to it over and over on YouTube. I let the song sink in and I cried for a long time. And my heart changed. I needed to hear the words and more important, I needed to feel them.

“If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now,
‘Cause there’s too many places I’ve got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn’t be the same.

‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
Oh… oh… oh… oh…
And the bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows I can’t change.

Bye, bye, baby it’s been a sweet love,
Though this feeling I can’t change.
But please don’t take it so badly,
‘Cause Lord knows I’m to blame.
But if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn’t be the same.

‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
Oh… oh… oh… oh…
And the bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can’t change.
Lord help me, I can’t change.

Lord I can’t change,
Won’t you fly high, free bird, yeah.

I always thought I was the free bird because I’m the fiercely independent one. But today I realized that Curtis was the free bird, and that’s why I love this song so much. It’s imprinted on my mind, like the news of his death and my turmoil after his loss.

And what if he said to me, “If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me? For I must be traveling on, now, cause there’s too many places I’ve got to see”?

And what if he‘s saying in that song, “Bye, bye, baby it’s been a sweet love…though this feeling I can’t change. ‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now, and this bird you cannot change.”

I can respect that. I can love him for that. I can thank him for that.

And now I can let him go. On to his travels, and his places to see.

‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now. And this bird you cannot change.

We were together for a little while and forever.

I can be a free bird.

*Song by Ronald W. Van Zant and Allen Collins

Advertisements

Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: